EN ZA SMEH MORA BIT

ižanski gasilci smo prefrigan ludje
hitr prletemo, hitr pogasemo
èe so pa cevi prekratke pa bliži zakurmo

Tole sem pobral iz cannonball in transaxle (ni gospodinjski ) foruma, hehe
http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=973ec0eb50422ba77ad1ebd8936d2038

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=acea79e1e4e391dc854158aca64502c6

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=022254b752c3028918afa95862df239d

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=51e19ef7f70ac1465645a9cfdc3484b9

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=94856d5b33ffbda887f19765cbc92dd7

Hehe dobri filmcki...oskarja za vse:)

Kmet se po dolgih letih trdega dela odloèi in
gre v toplice. Ker so že napeljali telefon,
naroèi hlapcu, da naj ga klièe res v zelo zelo
nujnih primerih. Po tednu dni, zazvoni telefon
in hlapec reèe gospodarju:

H: "Gazda, roèaj na lopati se je zlomil..."
G: "AJA, za tako pizdarijo me klièeš !? Kaj si
pa delal, da se je zlomil?"
H: "Niè, samo psa sem hotel pokopati..."
G: "Kaj, našega Tarzana ? Kaj mu je pa bilo?"
H: "Od štale mu je en tram na glavo padel."
G: "Kako, saj imamo novo štalo!?"
H: "Ja, samo je malo gorela..."
G: "Kako gorela!? Od kod pa ogenj v štali?"
H: "Ja, iz hiše... Tja je veter razširil ogenj..."
G: "KAJ !!? A je hiša tudi !?"
H: "Ja, tudi. Se je sveèa prevrnila, pa je
zagorelo..."
G: "Kakšna sveèa, a ni bilo elektrike ?"
H: "Elektrika je bila, samo vam je mama umrla,
pa smo morali sveèo prižgati..."
G: "KAJ !? Mama so umrli !? Pa kako to, saj so
bili zdravi..."
H: "Zdravi, že zdravi, samo kap jih je, ko so
mene na vaši ženi našli..."

hahahaha 1HP drift
Super za drifte.Namesto benzina pije vodo in namesto olja mu daš seno :rofl3:
Poèakte da prije na kšne drifte po pometal z vsem BMW Drifterjom že stiska JAJ*A :345:

An Arab at the aeroport:

- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.

- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.

- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.

- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.

- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast !

Stojijo ob cesti prostitutke in pride mimo ena stara mamca pa jih upraša:
Ja punèke kaj pa tle delate ob cesti?
Pa ena, ne ve kaj bi, pa ji reèe: Èakamo tovornjak s pomaranèami da jih bomo kuple.
Reèe mamca: jaz jih imam tudi rada, ih bom tud jaz kupla. Pa se postavi zraven.
mimo se pripeljeta policaja pa zagledata mamco tm umes: pa en ves šokiran reèe : ja mamca, kaj vi tud? pa mu odgovori: seveda brez problema. sam protezo vn uzamem pa jih še lahko cuzam!

Od spaljenega(konj se kot admin ne ve kam postat c c c c):

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica.



They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop.



From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,"You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!"



So the married couple walked in.



The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."



Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what
the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being
the sex God he was.



The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?



The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."



Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife,finally gave
in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got
this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many
years!



In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own
pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.



The Jamaican then began screaming,



"YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"

Dobro jamra snemalec, ajaaajajaj, ajajaaaj, ajaa....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiIYEmpWaaQ&feature=related

Zanimivi avti, btw!

HAhahahaha tega pa si nisem mislu, da je nekdo sposoben

Ista ideja se mi ze valja po glavi cca 1 leto da bi si dal isto na tablco pa na alfo vrgu zdej pa vidim da je ze zasedeno

Ampak je na italijanu. Kako valja i trebuje!

Temperaturna gradacija :

Opis pojedinih temperaturnih vrijednosti:

+18°C Na Havajima uzimaju drugi pokrivac 10°C U zgradama u Helsinkiju

+iskljucuju grijanje 2°C Talijanski automobili ne mogu upaliti

0°C Destilirana voda se smrzava

-1°C Dah se vidi. Rusi jedu sladoled i piju pivo.

-4°C Pas vam se uvaljuje u krevet.

-10°C Francuski automobili ne mogu upaliti -12°C Politicari pocinju pricati o beskucnicima.

-15°C Americki automobili ne mogu upaliti.

-20°C Dah se cuje.

-24°C Japanski automobili ne mogu upaliti.

-28°C Pas vam se uvaljuje u pidzamu.

-29°C Nemacki automobili ne mogu upaliti.

-30°C Ni jedan normalan automobil ne moze upaliti.

-36°C Ruski automobil ne moze upaliti.

-39°C Rusi zakopcavaju sve gumbe na kosuljama.

-50°C Automobil ti se uvaljuje u krevet.

-60°C Zitelji Helsinkija se smrzavaju. U Moskvi zakopcavaju kapute.

-70°C Smrzavaju se i u paklu. Univerzitet u Kuznjecku organizuje kros-country.

-72°C Advokati zavlace ruke u s vlastite dzepove.

-120°C Alkohol se smrzava. Rusi zato potpuno u kurcu.

-273,15°C Apsolutna nula. Prekida se kretanje elementarnih cestica. Rus liže smrznutu vodku.

Evo novi logo za alfa romeo forum za moje pojme(je copyright predelave za bmw ampak mislim da zelo pase tja)

http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=3ZusZylGLuM9vgVXe
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=xi5MRPSdHopLPkX0V
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=7ppfz0KiUwwLjkBtV
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=4rQGBEAVlsCHHhhXC
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=6xtU9DktUFVEzkjUu
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=7jzSCvamiNyaph0I6
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=u7kymvzJUkkNbgZyc
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=2lZ5nApArCQdelvil
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=10EPiv5QgrxJQkx82
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=5KipexjzjY7qWkIPy
http://www.nimportequi.com/video_popupDM.php?s=dm&v=7IHPZDOyayo7akzxj

dober je svaka mu èast!

faca ni kej

blazp wrote:Od avtošole sem kupil njihov
avtomobil. Sedaj po enem letu pa sem pri pooblašèenem servisu ugotovil,
da je lastnik avtošole spremenil kilometrino in jo zmanjšal za kar
veliko, s èimer je ogrozil varnost mene in moje družine (naj Vam povem,
da sem zelo veliko na terenu in vsak dan prevažam otroka v jasli).
Imate kakšen nasvet kaj storiti? Ker je kilometrina tako velika, (na
podlagi katere sem tudi takrat kupil avtomobil, in je lastnik avtošole
garantiral za brezhibnost avtomobila - pogovor z njim) sem sedaj v
dvomih, saj se lahko kaj pripeti avtomobilu in moji družini glede na
kilometrino. Hvala za nasvet

idiot

eni so pa preveè pametni :stupi2222:

Glede problematike platišè in
pnevmatik me zanima naslednje. Povsod se poudarja, da je za
homologacijo paltišè, za katere v odgovoru št. 32 trdite, da ni
homologacijskih predpisov, potrebno predložiti certifikat. Èemu in
zakaj, èe se platišèa NE HOMOLOGIRAJO. Kot drugo pa me zanima še na kak
naèin se prijemališèe sil zaradi spremembe dimenzije pnevmatik poveèa,
kot navajate v odgovoru št. 233? Vsem je namreè znano, da je sila
vektor in prijemle v toèki, katere dimenzja ->0?! Drži pa dejstvo,
da se zaradi spremebe površin, kontaktnih radijev in odmikov spremenijo
porazdelitve pritiskov ipd. Žalostno pa je tudi to, da se edina stva,
ki se na homolgacijiah v veèini preverja - pristnost denarja s katerim
se storitev plaèa, kaj veè pa od strokovnega pregleda navadno ni! Kar
pa se tièe problematike vprašanja št. 256, pa je stvar v tem, da širi
razpon standardnih dimenzij, kljub temu, da se geometrija podvozja in
ostale podrobnosti vozila ne spremijajo. V èasu fièotov in 101 najbrž
nihèe ni razmišljal o 18 palènih platišèih. Danes pa se pri raznih
vozilih, ki se jim model ni spremenil pojavljajo nove vedno veèje
dimenzije pnevmatik in zato ni logièno, da istih platišè nebi bilo
mogoèe namestiti na enako vozilo starejšega letnika.

Hvala za odgovor in lep pozdrav!

Jaka že dlje èasa ni imel sreèe z nakupom motorja, katerega si je želel
imeti. Nekega dne pa je le naletel na Harleyja z napisom "naprodaj". Motor
je izgledal celo bolje od novega v trgovini, èeprav je bil že deset let
star. Kljub letom se je svetil in bil odlièno ohranjen. Takoj se je odloèil
in ga kupil, na koncu pa je še povprašal prodajalca kako mu je ga uspelo
obdržati v takšnem stanju skozi vsa ta leta.

"Zelo preprosto. Kadarkoli imaš motor zunaj in se vreme pripravlja na dež,
namaži krom z vazelinom. To ga potem šèiti proti posledicam dežja." mu
odvrne prodajalec in mu poda kozarec vazelina.

Ta isto noè ga njegova punca Sandra povabi na sreèanje z njenimi starši.
Seveda sta se do tja odpeljala z kupljenim motorjem. Tik pred vstopom v hišo
ga Sandra ustavi in ga opozori: "Nekaj ti moram povedati o starših preden
vstopiva. Ko jemo veèerjo, ne govorimo. Kdor prvi spregovori med veèerjo, je
potem dolžan pomiti posodo."
"Razumem, ni problema." odgovori Jaka in se odpravita v hišo.

Ob vstopu Jaka šokira pogled na kup umazane posode sredi dnevne sobe. V
kuhinji opazi še en kup umazane posode. Nakopièena posoda je bila celo na
stopnicah, hodniku, povsod kamor je vrgel pogled, kupi nepomite posode.
Konèno se skupaj usedejo k veèerji in seveda nihèe ni zinil ene besede.

Ko tako dalje veèerjajo, se Jaka odloèi izkoristiti situacijo. Nagne se k
Sandri in jo poljubi. Nihèe ne reèe besede, zato se skloni še nižje in ji
zaène poljubljati prsi. Še vedno se nihèe ne oglasi, zato Jaka vstane,
zagrabi Sandro, iz nje strga obleko, jo vrže na mizo in jo poseksa pred oèmi
njenih staršev.

Punca je bila vsa iz sebe, njen oèe ves bled in njena mati vsa prestrašena,
ko se Jaka mirno usede nazaj na svoj stol in še vedno nihèe niè ne reèe.

Jaka pogleda po mami in si misli: "Èudovito telo ima za svoja leta.". Zato
zagrabi še njo, jo skloni èez jedilno mizo in se spravi nanjo na vse naèine.
Sedaj Sandra postane besna, oèetu se kuha para, ampak še vedno prevlada
tišina.

Kar naenkrat se zunaj pobliska, zagrmi in zaène deževati. Jaka se takoj
spomni na svoj motor, zato hitro vstane in iz svojega žepa potegne vazelin.

Tisti trenutek pa vstane še oèe, stopi stran od mize in se zadere: "Dovolj!

1.When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words ‘**** you,’ and grab the other girl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold… but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, “If you don’t stop crying about the cold right now, you’re going to be crying about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party’s dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say “No, she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts… and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I’m talking about.

21. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

22. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that much, but I think it’s funny.

24. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Now don’t call. That’s also quite funny!

smeha polna tema :rofl3:

hahaha bedak :rofll:

ps: una z red bull-om ni glih švoh...

jp, se trenutno ne spomnem, da bi vido slabo red bullovo hosteso